Kitty talks to Barry Edwards
Why do so many of us come to Quakerism later in life? It was a meeting to do with my sons’ school which just happened to be in Friends meeting house that drew me. It felt like a very special place and I wanted to know more.
I have asked a number of Friends over the years what has drawn them onto a Quaker or other spiritual path. When I asked my old mate Barry Edwards who lives in North Somerset what had attracted him to The Society of Friends, he delighted me by responding so fully.
From early school days Barry says he was really interested in R.I. (Religious Instruction) at school, but it was when he was hospitalised with TB aged 9 he felt that, in his words, “ He completely believed in God.”
He goes on say, “My family were not church goers apart from the usual, weddings, funerals, and christenings. We were a very poor family and it looked to us that the people that went to church were also the same individuals that went to the tennis club. They were certainly not our type.”
Barry first encountered Quakerism while helping to run a soup kitchen for homeless individuals at Friends Meeting House in Weston super Mare.
“It was run by another charity who rented the space two evenings each week. The posters on the walls of the meeting house drew me in, and I needed to find out who these strange folk were as they seemed to “speak to me”
Barry attended for around two years and helped with looking after the Meeting House and renters. “ I eventually took over as lettings officer, though I hate that word, “Officer”
“Quakerism has allowed me to look at the world through the testimonies and the reading of Quaker books “with a tender hand” for example.”
Are there any challenges that you find to your way of being in the world and Quaker testmonies? For example, Quakers are usually considered to be pacifist. In a seemingly increasingly divided world how does that resonate with you?
“As Quakers we are told to follow the testimonies, however, global conflicts often mean we take sides, Ukraine, Israel Palestine, Yemen, climate change, Trump all of these and more can produce tensions. For me, these global events should come under “Conflict Resolution” I find it challenging to present an alternative point of view to a group that are heavily invested in protest rather than solution.”
I find Quaker life very rewarding, treating people equally, telling the truth and working for peace is rewarding, but it can be a struggle to find simplicity in a world that is now so complex.”
What roles have you taken on at your meeting? There are usually lots of jobs for Friends to do and never enough people to do them.
“At my meeting in Weston super Mare, I am the lettings Officer, a Trustee for the North Somerset Area Meeting, and a Chaplain at North Somerset Court system.”
Sounds busy.
“Quakers are urged to ‘Live Adventurously’ but I also think we need to advertise ourselves more, we are a great group of individuals.”
Kitty Parsons Preseli
Can it be 20 years since I first went to a Quaker meeting? I had worked with one of the Milford gathering on a major environmental project so I eventually found myself nervously attending the purpose built meeting house in
It was an uplifting experience. The people were friendly and, I soon discovered, tolerant of my inconclusive ideas. I have recently read that early were associated with Seekers or Protestant free thinkers.
After a gap of some years, during which my circumstances changed, I could no longer make the 15 mile journey, I found another welcoming local group that holds zoom meetings.
I like the contemplative silence of group meetings and the supportiveness of it's members. There is no pressure to turn up, and people attend if and when it suits them. Quaker tolerance extends to cover a Universalist sub group for people who have modern spiritual ideas, and even an atheist sub group, though the basis of many or most members beliefs are traditionally Christian.
Alan Dearing Fishguard & Goodwick
At age 16 I started a spiritual journey and attended a few places of worship including a Quaker meeting. I was uncertain of my direction but had well-formed set of values that didn't seem to fit membership of churches. Though I had a deep respect for the teaching of Jesus it was accompanied by a healthy scepticism of the teaching of Paul and so found churches inconsistent, muddled and staid. I never could get past the shift from 'you should' to 'everyone else should' approach to leadership, guidance and teaching so a state religion, state church which then 'enforced' Christianity seemed incongruous with the urge of the man Jesus, that an individual consider their own path and relationship rather than judging the paths of others.
I called myself 'Jesian' most of my life and actually did bible studies and bought and immersed myself in a red letter bible. Then A levels, social awkwardness, itchy feet and joining the Royal Navy, where I encountered and respected the Royal Sailors Rest Christian fellowship at or near bases. An injury put pay to that career choice and then my journey took me into social work, particularly Disability and more recently End of Life palliative support. All these life junctions included an awareness of spiritual 'discomfort'.
The meeting house in Stevenage Herts was a welcome refuge and Sunday home during my social work training and I became a member. I moved to join North London (Bunhill Fields) and now have returned home to Wales. The souls I have encountered on the Quaker path enriched my life and have been as autumn colours of reds and gold. I have returned to South Wales meeting and am seeking to participate in my local meeting near Narberth. Also I am privileged to serve as Treasurer to Quaker Disability & Equality Group.
The shared silence of meetings in the Society of Friends is incredibly meaningful to me. I feel that prayer, contemplation, mutual upholding and all manner of unconditional positive regard for others is my spiritual home. Allowing an individual to find their own path and to shed the limitation of doctrine and rulebooks. Managing the silence is a complex experience at times but I've learned the waves of business and worry I bring to meeting eventually wash up on peaceful reflective shores often guided by inspired ministry.
Latter years have seen my journey encounter 4 consecutive cancers and feel somewhat overdrawn on my NHS account. This all coincided with covid and lockdown and thus the impetus driving the shift to online meetings was one of the many small mercies I have been grateful for. While a fifth cancer looms/lurks, current and form, advices and queries have been my safe port.
Living in a very rural county (Pembrokeshire), lack of public transport means I have never actually attended meeting in person here. The ability to manage 'mute' and 'camera off' has been an absolute blessing to managing meeting attendance, my PEG food pump into my tummy was never a distraction, the excessive sunburn of radiotherapy or my vanity 'half beard' (one side no longer grows) are all manageable online as are coughing fits.
21st century Quakership, with podcasts, websites, zoom meetings, is just right for my particular stage of a spiritual journey and I urge meetings to promote the option, as a parallel experience to meeting in person which remains the heart of what we do.
Michael Albero, Arberth / Narberth
Mae'n ddrwg gennym ond nid yw'r dudalen hon yn cael ei chyfieithu i'r Gymraeg, er y gallai Cyfaill ddewis ysgrifennu yn Gymraeg